Maestro - Dolente

I left physics lab hastily, I couldn't bare looking at him. It was crucially tormenting to be in the same room with him knowing nothing what was going on. I went to my locker when my phone buzzed, it was time for me to practice. I exhaled loudly and grabbed my cello case. I headed to the music room, incidentally when I was passing Physics lab, Apollo was heading out. I turned my face so I didn't have to look at him. I passed him and I felt like that he was watching me, but I didn't turn to check. I looked at my foot instead and kept on walking to the music room.

I opened the case, fetched L'enfance du Christ sheets. I played the tune softly, reading each note one by one. The time I started to fluently played the piece, the song got sadder and sadder. I remembered Apollo's compliment and our merriment moments yesterday. Was he playing me the whole time? Am I that clueless? I stopped playing and laid my head down. I tried to hold back the tears that started to cloud my eyes. Why am I such a fool? I shook my head to get rid of such depressing questions and took a deep breath, squared my shoulders, and cleared my throat and I played again.

Bruce picked me up right after school, and  I was glad that he did, so that I didn't have to meet Mr. s-Harp in the parking lot. I looked at my fingers for a moment when Bruce startled me,

Bruce : Ms. Hallman?
Me : What Bruce?
Bruce : (he paused, hesitated to ask) Do you want me to stop and buy you Hagen-Dasz?
Me : (I smiled, did I mention Bruce was driving me around since I was three? He knew me well, and I believed that he noticed that I was in a bad mood) No, thank you Bruce. (Cookies and Cream would be nice, but I just didn't feel like it, I just wanted to cry).
Bruce : Not even a good old Cookies and Cream?
Me : No, I'm good. ( I smiled weakly).
Bruce : You let me know Ms. Viola. (it had been years since Bruce called me Viola, he started to call me Ms. Hallman ever since my 10th birthday)
Me : Okay.

I rested my head on the car seat, I felt so weak, so drained. I was sad, like very sad.

***

It had been a week since Apollo and I talked. I still met him in Physics class, but I was no longer hoping for him to call me. He turned his face away every time we crossed each other and I just looked down.
I sat on one of the bench in the cafeteria, staring at my food helplessly. Daisy sat across the table,

Daisy : Vi, are you going to stare at your food all day?
Me : I don't feel like eating.
Daisy : C'mon Vi.. We've been best friends since 3rd grade, and you haven't told me what's going on with you lately. Vi, what's wrong? (she sounded genuinely concerned)
Me : I don't know Daze, I just feel so.. vacant
Daisy: Is it to do with your grades?
Me : No, Daze.
Daisy : Boys perhaps?
Me : (I shook my head microscopically)
Daisy : Apollo Harp?
Me : (I shook my head microscopically again, feeling so powerless)
Daisy : What did that jackass do? (she became bitter to Apollo, supportive Daisy)
Me : He did nothing, it was my fault. (Daisy was staring at me, eager for information) He was just being nice and I.. I was a fool to believe that it meant more. ( I said heavily)
Daisy : Oh, Vi, honey. I'm so sorry. (she said sympathetically)
Me : No, that's okay.
Daisy : We need to find you another guy, stat!
Me : (I scoffed a bit) I'll be okay, Daze.
Daisy : I'm here for you Vi, don't hesitate to tell me anything, ever. (she smiled kindly)

I smiled back, Daisy was a great friend. Supportive, caring, a dear friend, but she handles this kind of gloom differently, and I was not in the mood to joke around and cheer myself up like the way she did. One time she was dumped by Greg Doe, her first boyfriend, she was heartbroken and I invited her for a sleepover at my house, you know so she didn't have to feel alone. But she declined and insisted that I should go to this party on that weekend at Grace Fisher's house and hang with guys there. She knew that Greg Doe would be there, and she planned on making him jealous, which worked, Greg Doe asked her to get back with him, and she sloshed punch to his face. She was the hardcore kind of gal. The memory made me smile.

 Daisy : What? (she saw me smirking)
Me : remembering Greg Doe's incident, you know "Punch in the face" (I giggled)
Daisy : Shut up! (she smiled) eat up!

I smiled, even when she was not trying, Daisy could still make me smile. I looked at my veggie burger and took a bite. hmm! tasty. I chewed it slowly and looked at Daisy's satisfied smile. I smiled back, then my eyes saw something. Just 4 tables behind Daisy, there he sat with Kim Jenkins, both of them were turning book pages, looked like they were studying. She seemed overly friendly with him, you know elbowing him and twirling her hair with a pencil. My heart clenched again, feeling even more dolente.

Maestro - Calando

I went home that day with a huge smile on my face. Apollo knew how to make my day. I rest my head on the car seat, my oh my Apollo Harp. I closed my eyes and I remembered the memory of him saying "See you around." He was so formal sometimes, and his mood could change in a blink of an eye, man he was unpredictable.

Bruce took me home and brought my bags and gave it to Marla. They smiled politely to each other, and if I was so clueless, I would stare at them all day, but I knew they were secretly flirting with each other, and I didn't see why not, they were both single and available. I smiled and ran up the stairs to my bedroom, I slammed myself to the bed and breathed, what to do, what to do?

Marla knocked on the door, startling me from the brief rest,

Marla : Ms. Hallman, Your mother asks for you
Me : I'll be right there.
Marla : Yes, Ms. Hallman.

I stood up and checked myself on the mirror of my make up desk. My hair laid sleek and neat on each side. I need to tie it tomorrow! I said to myself. I combed it roughly with my hands and tapped hastily my skirt and shirt. I pulled my socks up and I was ready to meet my mother.
I knocked her bedroom door,

Me: Mother!
Mom : Viola, Darling, come in I'm in the shoe closet (yes, my parents' room was gigantic and full of closets)
Me: You called?
Mom : Yes, I need your presence tomorrow, we're going to practice for the winter performance
Me : Mom, I..
Mom : No Mom, I.. I don't want to hear any arguments!
Me  But, Mom!
Mom : Listen Viola, I don't want to hear it. You are going to play the Cello at the winter performance wether you like it or not.
Me : Yes, Mother.

My heart leaped to my mouth, I wanted to cry but I couldn't. I just didn't want to do it. I enjoyed playing the cello, but in front of a lot of people? The winter performance was the biggest performance of the year and it was highly anticipated. The mayor would be there, the city council, basically everyone in town. Crap! I just didn't want to.

I ran to my room and buried my face to pile of pillows on my bed, sniffling soft sobs. I turned to my back and remembered Apollo saying that I played beautifully. Apollo, why are you so nice?

***

A soft demanding voice scolded me behind the darkness, "Again!" he whacked my fingers with a long stick. I trembled while playing my Cello, I was blinded, the room was pitch black and I couldn't see a thing. All I could feel is my Cello bow, my cello, and the pain in my fingers. I stunk a note again, he was whacking my fingers harder "Again!" he shouted. I almost cry this time.  I never got hit by my teacher before, I never got this kind of treatment. I played the Cello again, I stunk the same note again and this time I felt my chin grabbed by strong able hands and it pulled my face so I stared up. Intense eyes were gazing at me indignantly, and I recognized it. It was golden brown sparkling eyes. Apollo's eyes.

I woke up breathing erratically, Geez. Why would Apollo taught me Cello? And why would he hit me?  I grabbed the alarm next to my bed, it was 3.30 am.  I closed my eyes and shook my head. Sleep Vi! Sleep! I tried to sleep again, but I couldn't. I was scared to go back to sleep.

***
I walked to my locker and opened it, secretly hoping that Apollo startled me again from behind. I grabbed my books and closed my locker, but nobody called. I gazed through the throng of people, no signs of Apollo.

I strolled to Physics class and a sudden tug from behind surprised me, Apollo! I turned around, smiling hopefully to see Apollo.

Daisy : Vi! Where have you been?
Me : Daisy! (speechless, utterly disappointed too)
Daisy : Come on! let's go to class!

We entered Mrs. Garcia's class, and there he was, leaning cooly on the wall gazing through the students passing him. His eyes were sharp and observant, I smiled at him, but he didn't smile back, instead he was staring at my impassively. His expression was unreadable. The bell rang and he closed the door. He sat down on the desk beside Mrs. Garcia's desk and watched Mrs. Garcia while I was completely distracted by his presence.

Mrs Garcia : Mr, Harp, could you please distributed the apparatus?

He stood up and grabbed the trays of apparatus. He reached my desk and Daisy's (we were partners).

Me : Hi, (I whispered slowly)
Apollo : (He looked at me, saying nothing, just staring, his face was stern and rigid)

My heart sunk into the deep blue ocean, he acted as if he didn't know me, at all. He ignored me, he ignored every bit of me. My heart went Calando, dying and fading away. How could he do this to me? How could he brought my hopes up and crushed it in a blip of second. What did I do? Have I done something wrong? Apollo??