Maestro - Dolente

I left physics lab hastily, I couldn't bare looking at him. It was crucially tormenting to be in the same room with him knowing nothing what was going on. I went to my locker when my phone buzzed, it was time for me to practice. I exhaled loudly and grabbed my cello case. I headed to the music room, incidentally when I was passing Physics lab, Apollo was heading out. I turned my face so I didn't have to look at him. I passed him and I felt like that he was watching me, but I didn't turn to check. I looked at my foot instead and kept on walking to the music room.

I opened the case, fetched L'enfance du Christ sheets. I played the tune softly, reading each note one by one. The time I started to fluently played the piece, the song got sadder and sadder. I remembered Apollo's compliment and our merriment moments yesterday. Was he playing me the whole time? Am I that clueless? I stopped playing and laid my head down. I tried to hold back the tears that started to cloud my eyes. Why am I such a fool? I shook my head to get rid of such depressing questions and took a deep breath, squared my shoulders, and cleared my throat and I played again.

Bruce picked me up right after school, and  I was glad that he did, so that I didn't have to meet Mr. s-Harp in the parking lot. I looked at my fingers for a moment when Bruce startled me,

Bruce : Ms. Hallman?
Me : What Bruce?
Bruce : (he paused, hesitated to ask) Do you want me to stop and buy you Hagen-Dasz?
Me : (I smiled, did I mention Bruce was driving me around since I was three? He knew me well, and I believed that he noticed that I was in a bad mood) No, thank you Bruce. (Cookies and Cream would be nice, but I just didn't feel like it, I just wanted to cry).
Bruce : Not even a good old Cookies and Cream?
Me : No, I'm good. ( I smiled weakly).
Bruce : You let me know Ms. Viola. (it had been years since Bruce called me Viola, he started to call me Ms. Hallman ever since my 10th birthday)
Me : Okay.

I rested my head on the car seat, I felt so weak, so drained. I was sad, like very sad.

***

It had been a week since Apollo and I talked. I still met him in Physics class, but I was no longer hoping for him to call me. He turned his face away every time we crossed each other and I just looked down.
I sat on one of the bench in the cafeteria, staring at my food helplessly. Daisy sat across the table,

Daisy : Vi, are you going to stare at your food all day?
Me : I don't feel like eating.
Daisy : C'mon Vi.. We've been best friends since 3rd grade, and you haven't told me what's going on with you lately. Vi, what's wrong? (she sounded genuinely concerned)
Me : I don't know Daze, I just feel so.. vacant
Daisy: Is it to do with your grades?
Me : No, Daze.
Daisy : Boys perhaps?
Me : (I shook my head microscopically)
Daisy : Apollo Harp?
Me : (I shook my head microscopically again, feeling so powerless)
Daisy : What did that jackass do? (she became bitter to Apollo, supportive Daisy)
Me : He did nothing, it was my fault. (Daisy was staring at me, eager for information) He was just being nice and I.. I was a fool to believe that it meant more. ( I said heavily)
Daisy : Oh, Vi, honey. I'm so sorry. (she said sympathetically)
Me : No, that's okay.
Daisy : We need to find you another guy, stat!
Me : (I scoffed a bit) I'll be okay, Daze.
Daisy : I'm here for you Vi, don't hesitate to tell me anything, ever. (she smiled kindly)

I smiled back, Daisy was a great friend. Supportive, caring, a dear friend, but she handles this kind of gloom differently, and I was not in the mood to joke around and cheer myself up like the way she did. One time she was dumped by Greg Doe, her first boyfriend, she was heartbroken and I invited her for a sleepover at my house, you know so she didn't have to feel alone. But she declined and insisted that I should go to this party on that weekend at Grace Fisher's house and hang with guys there. She knew that Greg Doe would be there, and she planned on making him jealous, which worked, Greg Doe asked her to get back with him, and she sloshed punch to his face. She was the hardcore kind of gal. The memory made me smile.

 Daisy : What? (she saw me smirking)
Me : remembering Greg Doe's incident, you know "Punch in the face" (I giggled)
Daisy : Shut up! (she smiled) eat up!

I smiled, even when she was not trying, Daisy could still make me smile. I looked at my veggie burger and took a bite. hmm! tasty. I chewed it slowly and looked at Daisy's satisfied smile. I smiled back, then my eyes saw something. Just 4 tables behind Daisy, there he sat with Kim Jenkins, both of them were turning book pages, looked like they were studying. She seemed overly friendly with him, you know elbowing him and twirling her hair with a pencil. My heart clenched again, feeling even more dolente.